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all the times I thought about him and also thought about drowning


Bleah B. Patterson

All the times I thought about him and also thought about drowning:

because maybe there’s a grief
that keeps on
grieving. Loving him reminded
me of the way the ocean
absorbs the

sky. My boundaries are just a line
I drew haphazardly in the sand,
and you are the high tide; I’ve spent
so much time hoping I’m the lighthouse
forgetting to be the

shore. And sometimes love is
like building a sandcastle knowing
the tide is coming in, and in
and in, and rebuilding it
every time. Everything hurts because it’s


Bleah (Blay-uh) B. Patterson (she/her) was born and raised in Texas. Former evangelical, former homeschooler, former journalist, she believes in honoring every iteration of herself. She is a poet exploring generational and religious trauma, she is a current MFA candidate at Sam Houston State University. Her work has been published or is upcoming in The Sagebrush Review, The Albion Review, The Brazos River Review, The Texas Review, and The Bayou Review.

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